There’s nothing wrong with building a house and calling it Casa de la Puta, but I would suggest that your construction project had better be pretty impressive if you’re going to name it “Versailles.” What’s that you say? Nobody would be so presumptuous as to call their residence “Versailles”? You’re wrong, and if you can find a few free hours during your next trip to Disneyworld to visit a nearby construction site, you’ll see what I mean.
“Versailles” is an new development located in Windermere, Florida, and it’s being offered for $75,000,000 as is, or $100,000,000 finished to the buyer’s specifications (I would like to assume that the additional $25,000,000 would guarantee diamond-encrusted doorknobs and solid gold plumbing fixtures, but I have a feeling that I would be wrong). So what will $75,000,000 get you? According to the online listing by Coldwell Banker, these features:
THE HOUSE DESIGN IS BASED ON THE ROYAL RESIDENCE OF LOUIS XIV OF 17TH CENTURY
90,000 SF UNDER ONE ROOF
13 BEDRM, 23 BA, 20 CAR GARAGE & 3 POOLS
LARGE BOATHOUSE, FORMAL GARDENS, 1 STORY GATEHOUSE WITH APT., BASEBALL FIELD, 2 TENNIS COURTS, 60×120 GRAND HALL WITH 30FT STAINED GLASS DOME, 2 GRAND STAIRCASES, 37X30 KITCHEN, 10 SATELLITE KITCHENS, 2 STORY WINE CELLAR, ROCK GROTTO WITH 3 SEPARATE SPAS BEHIND 80FT WATERFALL, FITNESS CENTER WITH SPA FACILITIES, TWO LANE BOWLING ALLEY, INDOOR ROLLER RINK, VIDEO ARCADE, 1/2 ACRE MAIN POOL DECK, CHILDREN’S WING W/ FAMILY RM, THEATER, ACTIVITY RM & COMPUTER RM, ADULT MOVIE THEATER W/BALCONY, 4 FIREPLACES, FORMAL DINING RM SEATS 30, HIS & HER OFFICE WITH 12FT TWO SIDED AQUARIUM
The skeptics among you might say that the description shown above doesn’t sound like the Versailles that you read about in your high school history textbook. I’ll leave that for you to decide, but perhaps two photos of the exteriors will help you see the resemblance:
Versailles (Florida)
Versailles (France)
Still unsure? How about two satellite photos of the respective grounds courtesy of Google Maps:
The grounds of Versailles (Florida)
The grounds of Versailles (France)
If you’re a wealthy oligarch and you’d like to own a small piece of French history in the heart of sunny Florida, why don’t you give Coldwell Banker a call and make a bid. As Louis XIV would have said, bonne chance!
Bernard Dauphin
