Let’s dissect this ad for the John Barrett Salon, shall we?

Have you seen this ad for the John Barrett Salon at Bergdorf Goodman?:

Why don’t we take a closer look at the photo (click to see a larger version):

Confusing, isn’t it? It’s certainly a beehive (no pun intended – well, maybe a slight pun intended) of activity, but when you look more closely, the photo provokes more questions than it answers:

1. Why is everybody crowded together like that? Does Bergdorf Goodman have such limited space that each salon is allocated only a single mirror? If so, does that mean that the mirrors receding into the distance are assigned to Frédéric Fekkai, Sally Hershberger, and Oscar Blandi?

2. Are the two male minions identical twins? They seem to be alike in every way, including their expensively tweezed eyebrows. Luckily they’ve worn different colored belts, but I have a suspicion that the minion on the right is going to be written up for violating the dress code.

3. Why is the woman on the right standing so close to the mirror, while her blond(ish) counterpart on the left stands mirrorlessly in a huff? Is the huffy girl angry that she hasn’t been assigned to one of the well-tweezed male minions?

4. Why is the token brunette holding a puppy? Is it John Barrett’s puppy? Is it a neighboring celebrity stylist’s puppy who became sick of being ignored during yet another interminable and ultimately fruitless placental rejuvenation treatment?

5. Shouldn’t John Barrett be looking down at the model’s hair? Perhaps the well-tweezed minion with the black belt (in the sartorial, not the martial arts, sense) is holding her hair aloft in an attempt to refocus the maestro’s attention on his subject.

6. Why is John Barrett dressed like a Park Avenue plastic surgeon? If he really dresses like that while he styles hair, doesn’t he end up wearing a blond(ish) suit by the end of the day?

7. Finally, why does everybody look so serious? They’re working for a hair stylist, not a bomb disposal unit.

Perhaps a brief video with a more appropriately garbed John Barrett will shed some light on these questions:

Beauty without cruelty? Sorry, I’m still confused. I think I’m going to stick with Supercuts.

David Desmond

Please, girls, give Mr. Barrett (center) some room to practice his art!

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